For Filipinos Grieving a Parent: Healing Through Culture and Community

Grieving the death of a parent is one of the most profound challenges anyone can face. For Filipinos, this experience often comes with layers of cultural expectations, unspoken rules, and a deep sense of responsibility to family. While grief is universal, the way it is processed can vary significantly across cultural contexts. In Filipino households—especially among immigrants—grief is often intertwined with duty, resilience, and the unyielding demand to "be strong for the family."

But what happens when the weight of these expectations makes it harder to heal? How do we reconcile the immense loss of a parent with the pressure to move forward?

The Weight of Grief in Filipino Families

For many Filipinos, grieving a parent is not just a personal process—it is a communal one. The loss of a parent signifies the loss of a family pillar, a source of strength, and often, the heart of the household. In immigrant families, this grief is compounded by unspoken cultural rules:

Prioritizing family over personal healing.

Hiding emotions to appear “strong.”
Feeling pressured to “move on” to provide for the family.

These expectations, while rooted in love and survival, can sometimes stifle the emotional freedom needed to process the enormity of the loss.

“What If I Can’t Move On?”

In Filipino culture, phrases like "Be strong for the family" or "I can't be sad forever" are often used as coping mechanisms. While they may come from a place of encouragement, they can also invalidate a person’s grief. It’s important to remember that grief has no timeline and there’s no “right” way to mourn.

For Hannah Rhea Divino, who lost her father in 2021, grief was a journey of learning to make space for both sadness and joy. Just four days after her father’s passing, she was accepted into a Master’s of Social Work program. Reflecting on this bittersweet moment, Hannah shared:

"I didn’t know what to feel. Something that has helped me in my journey was learning that it’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to grieve—but also, it’s okay to make space for joy."

This duality of emotion is often overlooked, but it’s a crucial part of healing.

Grief is Not Just Pain—It’s a Lifelong Journey

Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean returning to “normal.” It’s a lifelong process of adapting to the loss while finding ways to celebrate the life of the person you’ve lost.

Here are some reframed perspectives on grief:

Grief is a way to celebrate happy memories and honor your loved one’s legacy.

It’s a normal human experience that connects us to others.
Healing doesn’t mean “getting over it”—it’s a journey of learning how to carry your loss.
Grief can also be an opportunity to bring family and friends together in shared remembrance.

Healing Through Therapy and Community

Hannah, now a therapist at Sweet Mango Therapy Group, uses her personal experience with loss to help others navigate their grief. She emphasizes that healing is not about suppressing pain but about creating space for all emotions to coexist.

In therapy, she helps individuals:

Normalize grief and joy coexisting as part of the healing process.

Validate grief at every stage, knowing there’s no set timeline for recovery.
Create safe spaces to grieve without pressure to “move on.”

Her work is a reminder that grief is deeply personal and that no one should feel alone in their journey.

A Final Word: Be Kind to Yourself

If you’re struggling with the loss of a parent, remember to honor your emotions. Grief is not something to “fix” or rush through—it’s a reflection of the love you carry for the person you’ve lost.

For Filipinos, navigating grief may also mean unlearning cultural norms that no longer serve you. It’s okay to prioritize your healing, to seek support, and to redefine what strength looks like.

As Hannah reminds us, “It’s okay to grieve, but it’s also okay to make space for joy.”

If you or someone you know is navigating the waves of grief, consider reaching out to Sweet Mango Therapy Group alk for support. Healing is a journey, and you don’t have to walk it alone.