In Filipino households, the eldest daughter, or Ate, is often viewed as the pillar of the family. She’s the one who helps raise younger siblings, supports her parents, and often makes sacrifices for the greater good of her loved ones. But what happens when all that giving comes at the expense of her own well-being? For many eldest daughters, the idea of prioritizing themselves feels impossible—something almost selfish. This article explores the cultural expectations placed on Ates and the journey toward self-care and self-love.
Read More“I pressure myself to be perfect.”
“I feel like I’m not allowed to be angry.”
“I put my family’s needs above my own.”
These are just a few of the shared experiences eldest Filipina daughters have voiced—a testament to the weight of cultural expectations and familial roles they often carry. While the role of the eldest child is celebrated in Filipino households, it’s also one of the most challenging. For many, it comes with an unspoken expectation to be perfect, selfless, and emotionally resilient for the sake of their families.