Ikaw Na: The Reality of Smart Shaming in the Philippines
Why do Filipinos tend to smart shame–and how do we unlearn it?
I once had a friend (let’s call her G) who enjoyed talking about science–specifically, different kinds of insects and animals. We became close after a group voice call on Discord where she completely geeked out on marine life. I found the discussion both enriching and entertaining. I learned so much from her and appreciated how much fun she was having.
G later confessed to me in private that one of her “friends” called her “Kuya Kim,” after Kim Atienza, a talk show host in the Philippines known for sharing trivia at news shows.
It’s easy to shrug off these comments as “being said in jest” or “harmless banter between friends”--but if you go deeper, you’ll soon see that it’s a manifestation of smart shaming.
Photo courtesy of iStock
What does smart shaming look like?
In whatever form it comes, smart shaming is a common occurrence, in the Philippines–and much like body shaming, it’s regarded as normal or typical, until you realize that it shouldn’t be.
Just like what happened to G, smart shaming can come in the form of a “well-meaning” jab. Sometimes, it’s the pointed glare after sharing a strong yet informed opinion at the dinner table. It can even go as far as insults on your person after initiating a thought-provoking discussion online.
What exactly draws the ire or discomfort of people when someone is sharing what they know–even if they’re not being know-it-alls?
The heart of the matter
Smart shaming, at its core, is a by-product of anti-intellectualism–where one is mocked for being smarter or more knowledgeable. It’s why others say “Nosebleed!” when one has the ability to speak in straight English. Another choice insult is “Eh di ikaw na!”--and while there is no direct translation for the phrase, it’s a sarcastic way of saying “If you’re so good at it, then you do it.” And according to a Reddit thread on the topic, “Ikaw na” even triggers a sense of inferiority and even jealousy among those who say it.
In his book Sikilohiyang Pilipino (Filipino Psychology). Dr. Virgilio Enriquez emphasized the Filipino value of pakikisama, or the ability to get along with others. Interpersonal relationships and overall harmony are placed at a premium. As a result, people are expected to conform, not to stand out.
The great thing about pakikisama is that no one is literally and figuratively left behind. On the other hand, it also signals a general distaste for someone being different, or in this case, a disregard for elitism and individualism–traits typically associated with those of higher education.
On opposite ends
What’s even more ironic is the Filipino drive for education as a means to an end–”If you study hard, you’ll get into a good school, and land a good job.” For many Filipinos, education is the gateway to breaking the generational cycle of poverty–again, ironic for a nation where the masses don’t have access to quality education. Learning to sharpen one’s skills, therefore, is relegated to the backseat.
Photo courtesy of Business World Online
That said, the toxic nature of smart shaming undermines the unique potential every Filipino has for growth and learning. The country has such a long way to go in providing good quality education, regardless of one’s socioeconomic status. If Filipinos are capable of elevating or emphasizing the values of hard work and diskarte (know-how), then surely intelligence can also be a value that we can celebrate. We can encourage meaningful conversations, foster curiosity, and promote critical thinking by allowing people to think, ponder, and speak their minds without judgment.
Have you experienced smart shaming in your own context, or were you ever brought up to speak English instead of Filipino? Tell us about it. We’d love to learn about your experience.