Understanding Our Filipino Parents Through a Therapeutic Lens | Sweet Mango Therapy
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If you spend any time on social media, you've probably seen our. memes and jokes about the quirks of Filipino families—like how our titas and titos love to gossip or make blunt remarks. While these posts can be funny, they highlight some deep-rooted issues in our culture. Comments like "Hoy, tumaba ka na" (Hey, you’ve gotten fatter) or "Bakit hindi ka katulad ng kapatid mo?" (Why aren’t you like your sibling?) aren’t just jokes. They reflect a culture of comparison and judgment that's been around for generations.
And this isn't without consequences. Research shows that Filipino Americans have some of the highest rates of depression among Asian Americans but are among the least likely to seek help. The constant comparisons and high expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy, impacting mental health and family relationships.
In Filipino culture, there's a clear hierarchy where elders are respected and seen as the ultimate authority. This can make it tough for younger family members to speak up or express their feelings. Often, when the younger generation tries to share their thoughts, they're brushed off as being too sensitive or rebellious.
How Therapy Can Help
This is where therapy comes in. It offers a fresh perspective on family dynamics, helping us understand why our parents act the way they do. Many of the behaviors we see in our parents come from their own upbringing and the cultural norms they grew up with. For example, when they tell us to "just pray" instead of talking about mental health issues, it's because they were taught to rely on faith as their coping mechanism. Therapy teaches us that it's okay to talk about mental health and that doing so is a sign of strength, not weakness.
When parents say, "Bahala ka sa buhay mo" (Do whatever you want), it might seem dismissive. But therapy helps us see that it's their way of saying they trust us to make our own choices, even if it doesn't sound supportive. Therapy empowers us to make decisions based on our values and desires without feeling guilty.
How Sweet Mango Therapy Makes a Difference
Sweet Mango Therapy is a safe space for Filipino families in San Francisco, San Ramon, and throughout California to navigate these family dynamics. Their team of Filipino-American therapists understands the cultural nuances that affect Filipino family relationships. They offer a range of services like brainspotting therapy, trauma therapy, anxiety and depression therapy, and family counseling to help families heal and grow.
What They Offer
Brainspotting Therapy: A unique approach to help people process and overcome trauma.
Trauma Therapy: Focused on helping those dealing with the effects of personal and generational trauma.
Anxiety and Depression Therapy: Providing tools to manage anxiety and depression, helping clients live happier, more fulfilling lives.
Family Counseling: Helping families improve communication and resolve their issues together.
Sweet Mango Therapy's services are designed to address the mental health needs of the Filipino community and help families understand how their cultural background influences their relationships.
Bridging the Generational Gap
It's important to recognize that our parents’ actions, even when hurtful, often come from a place of love and a desire to protect us. At the same time, it's crucial for us to communicate how their actions affect us and to advocate for healthier family dynamics.
Creating a dialogue between generations requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen. Both parents and children need to share their perspectives openly. By challenging the norms and encouraging accountability within the family, we can create a more supportive and understanding environment.
Ready to Take the First Step?
If you or someone you know is dealing with the challenges of Filipino family dynamics, Sweet Mango Therapy is here to help. Take the first step towards healing and understanding by booking a free 15-minute consultation with one of their experienced therapists.
Book your free consultation here - LINK
📝 Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional therapy or medical advice. For proper therapy, please consult with a licensed professional.