Feel All the Feels: Why It’s Okay to Feel Sad About Going to Work
Not all of us are “feeling lucky”.
Despite everything that’s been said about quiet quitting, not everyone seems to get it.
On January 3rd–the first official business day of 2023–Donnalyn Bartolome earned the ire of many Filipinos online. The singer-turned-vlogger shared her thoughts about people feeling sad after coming back to work. The post, which has since been deleted, garnered over 22,000 comments and 45,000 shares.
As will all things on the Internet, this writer was able to get a screencap:
The post reads: Why are you sad about going back to work? Shouldn’t you be happy because you have a chance to make you and your family’s life better? I like working on January 1st because I have a superstition that I’d have to work the whole year. You should be grateful that you have work. If work makes you unhappy, I hope you find a job that will. One that will make you feel ‘kilig’ and shit. Anyway, this is just a reminder that having a job is a blessing, friend. Change your mindset, it’s 2023!
There are many reasons why work can make a lot of Filipinos unhappy–and not all “kilig and sheet,” as Donnalyn pointed out. Often, our jobs are a means to an end: to pay the bills and the utang (loans). For many of the eldest siblings, work means earning enough to send the younger kids to school.
Not all working Filipinos are fortunate enough to work from home, either; facing the everyday reality of hellish commutes to and from the workplace is already a burden in itself. And with the pandemic still ongoing, this means risking ourselves and our loved ones every day.
What’s more, some of us don’t even have jobs to return to. In an October 2022 survey, the Philippine Statistics Authority reported that over 2 million Filipinos are unemployed. Donnalyn’s statement not only makes an assumption that all of us are working–it places a premium on the grind and disregards the need for a work-life balance–and even feeling a certain way after the holiday break is over.
The case for workday dread
Of course, the holidays are done and dusted. While you may or may not have experienced a holiday hangover, there’s another common occurrence that some of us encounter when we’re about to wrap up the weekend: either the Sunday scaries, or more commonly, the Monday blues.
The Sunday scaries include having feelings of dread, incessant anxiety, or hopelessness, typically happening the afternoon or evening before the start of the workweek. Some people who experience this phenomenon may find that these emotions carry over to the next day–inevitably affecting their work performance and even their colleagues.
Neither of these is considered medical conditions, nor specific ailments that can be diagnosed. But they are very real occurrences that happen even to the best of us, week in and week out.
To ease the Sunday scaries and Monday blues, Sara Sutton Fell, the founder and CEO of FlexJobs, encourages us to first identify the problem. “Clarifying what is bothering you can help you try to be active in finding solutions. It’s a way of empowering you to take charge and try to improve the situation.” Another way to address this phenomenon is to draw clear boundaries between work and me-time. Resisting the urge to check work emails and messages on your days off keeps things in check and helps you focus on enjoying your time off. Other ways to manage the blues include self-care strategies such as meditation, journaling, exercise, or spending time with a friend.
In the event that you are experiencing excessive worrying, intense sadness, or a lack of motivation for an extended period of time, it may be a good idea to consult a mental health professional to talk things out and see any underlying causes.
Photo from Unsplash
Your feelings are valid
Regardless of anyone’s relationship with work, it’s okay to feel sad that the holidays are over. You may have spent that time spending time with your loved ones, catching up on much-needed sleep, or just doing nothing–but it’s perfectly fine to dread going back to reality, so to speak. We all have different ways of coping and getting used to our old routines. It’s a matter of taking it day by day and not letting someone discount your feelings and how you adjust.
Rest is an opportunity to refresh our minds, pursue our interests, or spend time with those we care about, and pursue our hobbies and interests. Finding that balance between work and rest allows us to give more of ourselves to whatever we’re doing, but more importantly–stay the course and not feel exhausted or overwhelmed.
In the final analysis, our lives aren’t just about work. Don’t let anyone–especially an influencer who doesn’t know you from Adam–tell you otherwise. Each of us has twenty-four hours to spend in a day, and it’s entirely up to us how to spend them.