How Filipino Moms Are Healing Their Inner Child While Raising Their Kids
Motherhood is a role steeped in sacrifice, love, and often, unspoken challenges. For Filipino moms, the weight of cultural expectations, generational trauma, and self-imposed standards can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and unfulfilled dreams. But what happens when a mother decides to heal her inner wounds while raising her own children?
Tessa Albea’s story of her mother’s journey to self-prioritization offers a glimpse into how breaking free from the past can create a healthier future for the entire family.
Generational Pressures and Unspoken Wounds
Tessa Albea shared a poignant truth about her mom, Pinky, who sacrificed her creative dreams due to the constraints of her upbringing. Pinky’s strict mother imposed expectations that left little room for personal aspirations, a familiar narrative for many Filipino moms who often prioritize family over their own needs.
Pinky’s parenting style was deeply influenced by her own experiences, which led her to question whether she was repeating cycles of strictness or creating space for her children to thrive. This generational impact highlights a common struggle among Filipino parents: balancing cultural values with personal growth.
For many moms, this journey isn’t just about parenting but also about healing unresolved emotions. It’s a complex interplay between honoring tradition and forging a new path that allows for both self-expression and nurturing.
The Unique Pressures Filipino Moms Face
Filipino moms often grapple with societal and cultural expectations that fuel self-doubt. Are they too strict, too lenient, or too focused on their careers? These internal questions become a mental burden:
Am I a “Tiger Mom?” Am I pushing my kids for their own good, or am I crossing the line?
Am I assimilating too much? Do I uphold Filipino culture at the risk of my child’s ability to fit in?
Am I selfish? Do I sacrifice my career or personal dreams to fulfill the role of a homemaker?
These concerns are amplified by the deeply ingrained cultural belief that mothers are the ultimate caregivers, often placing their needs last. This mindset, while well-meaning, can lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout at any stage of parenting.
Reframing Self-Talk and Prioritizing Mental Health
Amid these challenges, Sweet Mango Therapy Group, provides a lifeline for moms seeking to heal and grow. As a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience, Laotian-American therapist Nook Basto helps mothers navigate generational struggles while rediscovering themselves.
Basto emphasizes that mothers are more than just caregivers—they are individuals deserving of self-care and fulfillment. She offers tools for reframing negative self-talk, a practice essential for battling the inner critic many moms face:
Catch the Thought: Notice when you think, “I’m not a good mom.”
Shift Perspective: Ask yourself, “What would I tell a friend in my shoes?”
Celebrate Wins: Recognize that even small victories, like getting through the day, are worth celebrating.
Practice Gratitude: Write down or meditate on three things you’re thankful for daily.
By reprogramming these thought patterns, moms can lighten the mental load and begin to focus on their well-being without guilt.
Breaking Cycles and Establishing Healthy Boundaries
One key component of healing is breaking generational cycles by setting boundaries and processing unresolved emotions. Sweet Mango Therapy uses strength-based approaches to help moms:
Reframe negative self-talk and highlight everyday wins.
Establish healthy boundaries with their own parents, free of guilt or fear of being labeled a “bad daughter.”
Process unresolved emotions through therapeutic exercises like letter writing.
These practices empower mothers to take control of their narratives, fostering healthier relationships with themselves and their families.
The Power of Healing While Parenting
For Filipino moms, healing their inner child while raising their own children is not only possible—it’s transformative. Tessa Albea’s story is a testament to this. As her mom, Pinky, began prioritizing her own needs, it created a ripple effect that positively impacted their family dynamic. By choosing to address her past, Pinky set an example of resilience and self-love for her children.
As Nook Basto reminds us, “You’re more than a mom, partner, or caretaker. You deserve space to focus on YOU.” This shift in perspective allows mothers to see themselves as whole individuals, not just defined by their roles within the family.
Filipino moms carry the weight of cultural expectations, generational trauma, and the desire to be the best parent possible. But by prioritizing self-care, reframing negative self-talk, and seeking support, they can break free from the cycles that hold them back. For the moms healing their inner child while raising their own, this journey is about more than motherhood—it’s about rediscovering themselves.
If you’re ready to take the first step, Sweet Mango Therapy is here to guide you. Click here to connect with a therapist and explore how you can begin your journey toward self-assurance and healing. Because the best gift you can give your children is a healthier, happier you.
