Gen Z Filipinos are Choosing “Landi” Over “Ligaw"... Here’s Why
Is sending your crush a Spotify playlist today’s version of a Harana?
Artwork by Fernando Amorsolo
Ligaw or courtship is traditionally when a man and a woman get to know each other before deciding on marriage. What’s unique about panliligaw is how the woman’s family and friends are involved in the progression of the relationship. Usually, it’s the suitor who has to put in the most effort to win the approval of their interest’s circle, whether that’d be through providing food, money, cutting wood, and yes, even performing a harana or serenade. This has long been a custom in Filipino culture and it has mostly dictated how Filipinos date… until now, that is.
It’s unclear if ligaw is still evident in this age but today’s younger Filipinos seem to be classified into three categories: those who are “old school” and honor tradition, those who have detached from it, and those who believe that there are more important things to worry about hence, staying single. Growing up in a more technically-advanced and politically-fueled environment, Gen Zs have taken it upon themselves to alter the rules of traditional dating to cater to what fits them the best.
Swipe, Chat, Meet up
Social media has made almost everything easier, including meeting new people. And getting to know new people has even gone beyond dating apps. In fact, Gen Z Filipinos can now get to know people via other platforms such as Discord, Twitter and even PC games like Valorant! Some would settle for purely online dating while others will take their built relationships offscreen.
In the olden days, making the first move meant honing up the courage to give the person you’re interested in a token, like flowers. Today, Gen Z Filipinos shoot their shots by sending a simple “hi” or “kumusta?”. For other age groups, meeting face-to-face with a stranger on the internet meant imminent danger, which explains why most Boomers, Gen Xers, and even Millennials prefer traditional dating. Gen Z Filipinos, on the other hand, would meet up after a few rounds of chatting and video calling.
All that Talk
From Shutterstock
In a dating culture that’s run by messaging apps, communication is crucial. Upon meeting online, two people will then keep chatting or exchange socials. This is how the “talking stage” commences, or what Gen Zs call the beginning phase of a potential relationship. Throughout this stage, the involved parties get to know each other via talk and text until it eventually blows up into a date, a hookup, or a real relationship. This may sound similar to the traditional notion of courtship; however, the “talking stage” takes out the pressure of exerting effort to impress the other and just casually… talk.
There’s no rule as to how long talking stages last. Heck, even the people involved in it have no clue either. But each person takes a different time to fully open up. Unfortunately, talking stages are shaky and are bound to fall apart, especially when ghosting runs rampant. Your date can either block you, unmatch you, or worse: leave you on “read”. Ouch!
Casualty Over Commitment
A 2020 study by Meghan Isaf from Elon University showed that compared to long-term and monogamous relationships, 79% of college students engage more in casual, unlabeled ones. This is how the “situationship” came to life, a concept that gives a couple the entire romantic and sexual experience without the commitment. Other than being a trending keyword on Google, the situationship has become a popular endeavor for most Gen Z Filipinos.
This idea may be unconventional, but this generation is embracing their commitment issues. The whole idea takes the pressure out of building bonds while at the same time solving the need for instant intimacy and companionship. If you’re a career-oriented young person or just an individual with little to no time for commitments, situationships are your most likely choice.
Why is this happening in the first place? Do Gen Z Filipinos have commitment issues? The unwillingness to commit into relationships is perhaps a result of growing up with instant gratification (Nealeon, 2019). But at the same time, rebelling against ligaw culture has come with a few silver linings such as teenage pregnancy declining from 8.6% in 2017 to 5.4% in 2022.
From Business Mirror
The hesitance of current generations towards traditional dating and settling down can be due to the high divorce rates among the Boomers as well as the rise in inflation and lack of socioeconomic security. On another note, regardless if panliligaw teaches genuine ways in pursuing love, there are sides to it that are now being deemed as “toxic”.Just like normalizing gender roles wherein women are expected to act modest if they’re being courted and men had to be confident and assertive. Another is encouraging the notion that suitors could keep trying until they tire out the person of their interest.
Traditions are traditions for a reason but with our ever-evolving society, it’s inevitable for these to become outdated or even harmful. But our heritage is still being enriched even with new concepts being introduced by different generations. At the same time, what’s conventional doesn’t automatically mean it’s required. You can choose romance or fun, whichever works best for you and for those around you. After all, in a Filipino’s book, there are countless ways to perceive and experience love, courtship, dating and marriage— it’s not a linear process nor is there one single rule to it all.
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