WRITTEN BY BEA AVANCENA AND FRANCESA JANA SANTIAGO

Are criticizations about our physical attributes a form of concern or body shaming? If you’re Filipino, you’ve probably heard phrases like “tumaba ka” (you’ve gotten fat) one too many times. While it’s nice to know our relatives pay close attention to us, most of the time it gets too hurtful to even know how to respond. And how exactly do we respond when our culture has normalized these attacks on our looks as just “casual greetings”? Sadly, this is nothing new for us as Filipinos have long internalized discrimination against brown skin, flat noses and of course, plump tummies. Can something normalized be deemed toxic? And if it is, how do we get rid of it for the next generations?

Part of Philippine culture is the avid interest in pageants and this is one of the contributing factors to Filipinos’ unrealistic beauty standards. In fact, anything physical can be assigned a social status or a personality in this culture. Body shaming however is defined as the act of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape and size- and no, it’s not just a Filipino thing. But for our people, weight is a complex topic to talk about because you’re either too fat and need to tone down or you’re too skinny so you need to be fed more. In simpler terms, you can’t win!

Traditional-minded Filipinos may see body shaming as a form of love or humor but it’s grown to be insensitive and purely judgmental. These criticisms can affect our mental and emotional well-being to a certain scale and it can further worsen because of the fact that Filipino families don’t take psychological struggles seriously as well and so our relatives don’t often see how their comments can take a toll on us. While it’s difficult to speak up most of the time, staying silent can also do harm. We may not be able to control how others view us and speak to us but we can control how we take these. Unlearning toxic behaviors like this is part of the healing process and is one step further to becoming a better person… a better Filipino.

For more in-depth discussions about the Filipino culture and community, make sure to watch our show “Breaking The Tabo”, where we talk “real shit”.